After a while of dating or being married, you seem to feel like you have exhausted all the things you could probably discuss about with your partner. In fact, your chats and discussions grow shorter and less interesting by the day and it’s almost like you both are losing interest in each other. That’s not true. There’s only so much you can say, and truth is, you have talked about literally everything. Your past lives, your future, children, you’ve shared your dreams, talked about that guy at the store that keeps giving you a funny look when you come in to get foodstuffs and that female worker who wears such tight skirt to work that she walks as if on cue. You’ve done a lot of talking so far. Don’t worry, you both are not losing communication.
After a long while, relationships get boring. There’s no more spontaneity and you both have grown very used to and comfortable with each other. It has become almost like a routine now and that is very understandable. However, with a best friend you never run out of things to talk about, right? Then, you should never run out of things to discuss with your partner. If you still have discussion issues, then, just take your time and read this post. I’ll be sharing some secrets from my mum and I hope you enjoy it…
1. Ask about your partner’s day: after work every day and my parent were both back home, they would take some time to gist with us and tell us about something that happened or something they heard. Then, we would eat, and all retire to our rooms or whatever we were doing before they came back while they would retire into their own room to gist. We would hear mummy laughing and daddy laughing alone with her. They would gist so much and sometimes even late into the midnight, they continued to talk and laugh. Mummy later told me that it was the time she loved the most in the whole day. They would ask about each other’s day and they would laugh about funny things that happened. It was always fun. It kept them together and happy for 21 years of marriage. You should try it out too.
2. Talk about how you met: this one was regularly repeated in the house. We all knew the story of how my parents met but, they would still always bring it up. The talk would start from their side of the house to our rooms where they would come to gist us. It was always so much fun for them and sometimes, they would add extra gist into their talks and you would hear some exaggerations here and there. It made them happy and it made us happy seeing them so happy too. You should also do this in your relationship. It helps you to rekindle your love and reminds you how you met and how you got so close.
3. Argue about random things: you needed to be there when my parents argued. It was always about very funny things. It would first start as a regular talk then, boom, it would turn into an argument. My parents would then run to us to tell us their different sides of the argument. I always took my mum’s side and my immediate younger sister would always take my dad’s side. It seemed like we already knew whose side to be on and in some very rare cases when my mum wanted us all to be on her side, she would bribe us. Funny thing is, she never promised and failed so immediately she said she would buy something for whoever sides her, the whole house would take her side and leave my dad. It made the house so much fun for all of us and my parents would laugh and mock each other so much that the house would feel like something new just fell into it.
4. Tell each other how you feel: this can range from talking about how you dislike that your partner drops his shoes in the sitting room instead of the shoe rack in the room to why your partner should stop wearing the red polka dotted skirt. It’s not a time to fight or quarrel. It’s cute when you can tell your partner everything because well, it’s your partner. Right? The easiest and most convenient way of doing this is usually during bedtime when you both just want to cuddle and talk about the day. Don’t go shouting and sounding rude to your partner. It doesn’t ever pay and if your partner is as crazy as my mum was, chances are that he or she would do that same thing you just spoke about again just because your manner of approach wasn’t nice.
5. Talk about sex: African parenting doesn’t give you the opportunity to talk about sex but, somehow, I learnt from my mum that you both need to understand your sex life for your relationship to work. My parents were really happy together and anytime I am asked who my favourite couple were, I always chose them first. Truth is, your sex life is very important and cannot be over emphasized. Sometimes, just to add some spice to the discourse, talk about it and talk about your sexual fantasies and the things you want to try out. Also, during sex, don’t just lie there like a log of wood. Do something and laugh about funny slips here and there. It makes you very comfortable with your partner. I promise that if you do this, you can never have a boring relationship.
Thanks for reading!
Wink’s Corner
